Attack of the Coati

What is a Coati you ask? Well, it is a raccoon type creature that is apparently very fond of fruits and show a complete lack of respect for those animals further up the food chain. In fact, they can actually instill fear in the higher rungs of the animal kingdom. Well, at least Kelly and I. Your next question might be, Matt, why do you know this? Well, if you recall from my last post I recently was married. What I may not have told you is that my new bride is an animal lover. I may also not have told you that we honeymooned in Costa Rica, a country known for its numerous exotic creatures.

Our first sighting of a Coati

Ok, for those of you who haven't put it together, Kelly chose not to remember the signs we all remember from the zoos about not feeding the animals. Coincidentally, the maid staff left fresh fruit in the room each day. Living in Chicago and having been almost completely weened off of fresh fruit we were cautious as neither wanted to spend the entire week in the rest room, especially after Kelly found a gecko in there. Not wanting to see all of this fruit go to waste, Kelly felt that the Coati you met above looked a bit thin and needed a grape. Little did we know this Coati was but a forward sentry for a much larger army hiding quietly in the brush just beyond our sight. They attack with the swiftness of, well coatis, in packs of nearly 15 and can scale short walls with amazing quickness.

Before we knew it we were hunkered down in our room watching the coatis eat our fruit, steal our sugar packets, and even try to drink our morning coffee. At that point I drew a line in the sand and went out to scare them away. You can mess with a lot of things, but a man's morning coffee, especially a caffeine addicted man's (yes me), is a step too far. Ok, not really. I let them have their way with our goods and only after the plundering was over did I venture back outside.

The porch was sacked in under 2 minutes. We offered little resistance.

As a result of this episode and my constant placing of fruit just outside our porch in the lawn, our porch at the resort became the morning hang out of a band of coatis (and no I did not check to see if a group of coatis is called a band or even if coatis is the plural form of coati, if you want to check on that I would be interested, otherwise just play along) for a week.

After a week of hanging out, we all got more comfortable with each other and really got to be pretty good friends.

That was pretty much the excitement from our honeymoon. Other than that we enjoyed laying around the resort, reading, eating and sleeping. Some more pictures are below.


View from our porch of Papagayo Bay

Views from the area where we ate breakfast every morning.

We went during the "green" season, otherwise known as the rainy season so yes it was cloudy much of the time. Some would think, ohh that is too bad. But those of you who really know me, know that I was thanking my lucky stars. Me and the dozen or so northern Euros that were at the resort with us. You see for about 4 hours a day, usually between 10 and 2 or so it would get really sunny. So we ventured down to the beach during those hours and promptly got pretty well burnt our second day there. So the clouds were a welcome sight and allowed us to lay around at the beach, me without a long sleeve shirt on, or at the pool without having to worry about an incredibly uncomfortable plane ride back to the states. Something apparently the Irish don't mind because I saw some of the reddest burnt skin in my life on those folks. I am not sure how some of them even laid down to go to bed at night they were so burnt.

The view of the resort from the main building. Our room was in the building whose roof you can barely see in the upper left corner.

Our room.

The beach looking out of Papagayo Bay toward the pacific.

Costa Rica is known for its rain forests and many people partake in adventurous excursions while on vacation there. Well, we didn't. You see we are more lay around type people than we are zip line across the canopy of a rain forest type people. But not to be out done we did leave the resort once. We went on a boat tour through one of the national parks and then toured a coffee plantation. Kelly kept asking the boat driver to get closer to the gators but this was about as close as he would get.

The boat driver didn't show nearly the same level of discretion when near the monkeys. In fact he beached the boat once and the guide jumped out and started talking to the monkeys. Seriously, this guy's animal call repertoire was unbelievable. Monkeys, birds, iguanas. Yes, I know it may very well have been a show since the guide is probably well aware that he could make any sound he wanted and all of the tourists in the boat would act like it was the actual sound of that animal in an attempt to hide their complete lack of knowledge about this part of the world. I, being one of those tourists appreciated the effort though and it seemed to work since he did get a couple of monkeys to get fairly close. (see picture of monkey below)

In fact, they even encouraged people to get out of the boat to get a closer look. At that point, I remembered that I was never a boy scout, probably couldn't figure out how to catch anything to eat despite the vast amounts of animals in the forest , and in short, would be utterly screwed should the boat decide to leave me behind. That and the fact that the guide told us it wasn't uncommon for the monkeys to throw their "waste" at you kept my butt firmly in the boat.

We then toured a coffee plantation. After hearing all about how they grow, harvest, and roast coffee we really hit our stride. It was then we sat down with the co-ops director and enjoyed a few cups of their fresh coffee.

Coffee on the plant. The coffee bean is actually inside the red berry. These plants are grown on the hillside and people lug baskets up the hills to hand pick the berries.

So 6 days after arriving we ate our final breakfast, enjoyed the views, took one last walk on the beach and headed home, where Kelly almost beat up a friendly American TSA agent. But that is another story for another day.

September 27, 2008

No that isn't today's date. Yes, I am about a month and a half behind on updating the blog but I have been busy laying on the couch. So eat it. Seriously, the past two weeks, aside from the 8 to 9 hours a day we work, we have spent on the couch. And boy is it everything I remember it to be. As the faithful readers of the blog know Kelly and I have undertaken quite a bit since we met one another. Our first date (drinks after work at RFD) was on Oct. 27, 2005. Which reminds me. A quick shout out to my buddy Dave and his beautiful wife Andrea. Not only did they recently pass the 3 year mark, but they also recently welcomed Mr. Grant Mooradian into the world. Ok, I really hope I got that right, not the recently have a child part, that is true, but the marriage date part. But honestly, can a man really be asked to remember his friends anniversery? I mean hasn't our gender proven over the centuries that we are incapable of even remembering our own? Anyway, Dave's fantasy football managing has slipped a bit due to a lack of sleep but with 3 weeks to go he is holding on to a playoff spot. I only am able to kid because I am currently in first place in the league, go Cobra Kai. Why you ask does Dave get a shout out and not you. Well, Dave is responsible for ending mine and Kelly's first date. You see I had an early flight to Detroit the on the 28th to attend his and Andrea's wedding.


Back to the story at hand, by August 2006 we had moved into our first apartment and rescued Daisy. On March 16, 2007 we were engaged and on June 26, 2007 we purchased 330 N. Humphrey. In July 2007, we acquired the services of my brother and father to help us move half way across the country from Washington DC to Oak Park, and in September we began the renovation of our wonderful little home. And we got Gatsby in August. The blog pretty much takes over from here so, anything beyond September 2007 you have to read past posting.

Anyway, on September 27, 2008 Kelly and I were married. I mentioned this on the last posting but wanted to put some pictures up for the readers to see. It was a small affair in Corinth, Mississippi.



The Happy Couple

Actually, here I am really concerned about me being photographed with the bouquet and what all my friends will say. Also, a menacing crowd had gathered with torches and pitchforks. Not really, they only had rose petals but my fears were well founded. You see, I took a shot to the right eye from one young lad who was all to eager to throw the petals. But don't worry, I got his number.

Off for our tour of Corinth in the horse and buggy. Again my fears were realized about 5 minutes down the road when our horse...well you know what horses do. This also allows me to say I told you so to Kelly. Probably the last time I will get to say that.

The groom and his best man. A big thank you to my brother for being my best man. Not only did you serve as the best best man ever, but also as head of my butt kicking team. No, Tim didn't get into a rumble at the party. Sorry to disappoint. Tim, thanks for getting us a few moments alone before the ceremony. It was huge.

The General's Quarters

Should any of the readers ever be traveling through Northeast Mississippi, stop by Corinth and stay at the General's Quarters. It was here that many of the guests stayed and also where we held our rehearsal dinner. Or should I say, good ole fashion bbq. Luke (the chef at GQ, and if you can't figure out what GQ is you don't get to read any more of this blog) cooked up one nasty bbq with all the fixins. To top it all of we were fortunate enough to have a bluegrass band, the Smokehouse Boys, play for the night. A wonderful group of guys who really made the night special. Not only that but the northerners in attendance learned about some not so familiar instruments. Ok, I now realize that putting this part of the posting above the rest would probably have made more sense, but that would take time and I have to get back to sitting on the couch. Good Day to you.

Just for Fun

Since our last blog, approximately 5 weeks ago, we have undertaken a few new projects around the house and one fairly large life project. Now I must confess, we really didn't do a lot of the work involved with the house projects, aside from writing checks, but that was mostly because the life project is somewhat of a large undertaking. You see, we got MARRIED last weekend. Yes, the fearless undertakers of the projects listed on this blog are now a legitimate, legally recognized couple. With all the tax disadvantages that come with it. Before the women readers get too excited and start scanning for pictures let me say there are none on this blog. We don't have any yet and no one who took any has sent us any, hint hint. I will regale you with the tale of that weekend when I have pictures to assist in my story telling. Until then, call Kelly I am sure she would be happy to tell you all about it.

So that let's us know what you have been up to for one weekend you say, what the heck have you been doing that hasn't allowed you to keep the blog up to date. Well, we had a new deck built, refinished the floors on the first floor and had new windows put in the front room. So take that. The deck was yet another Oak Park beat down handed to the residents of 330 N. Humphrey. Apparently the good civil servants at the Village pick a few neighborhoods to walk around in each year to look for potential "violations" of the building code. For example, one of these fine individuals may walk down the side of your house and pear into the back yard, might even open up your fence and go in the back yard, and see that your deck has some peeling paint. Well, peeling paint is a violation and must be corrected. In this case you may get a letter telling you to correct the violation within 30 days. Invasive some might say, but those of us who live in the Village just smile and are happy to see our tax dollars at work. I mean, who wants salt on the roads this winter when you can pay to have people walk your neighborhood to tell you what is wrong with your house.


You may have sensed the sarcasm in the last paragraph. I hope so because I was laying it on pretty thick. You also may have guessed that the above example was taken from my life. You would also be correct. But only if you had been to the famed 330 N. Humphrey would you know that scrapping the peeling paint off of the old deck to paint over it would actually cause the railing to fall off. Although I am suspicious about it just "falling" off, you see Kelly was also the one working on scrapping the paint when the railing just "fell " off (see above post). Anyway, instead of trying to salvage the rotting piece of crap of a deck we had we hired a crew to rip it down and build us a new one.

After a solid 2 week battle royal with the Village about the permit, nothing is easy in this town, they had us a new beautiful deck built in 3 days. Sorry, I will put finished pictures up in the next posting. It was just in time to because our little Daisy girl was beginning to worry us. We weren't sure what was wrong until the new deck was ready for use. Only then did we realize that she had been acting the way she was because she didn't have a deck to sit on. At some points we actually thought we were going to have to take her to the vet she was acting so different. Little thing just wanted a deck to sit on, and no "thing" wasn't my first choice of words, but this is a family blog so we keep it G rated.

The deck was complete about 2 weeks before the wedding so we had a little time to enjoy it. That and enough time to decide we should probably have the floors refinished and replace the front windows while we were in Corinth for the wedding. Yeah, were really bright aren't we. Sometimes I wonder, what is smarter, me or the kitchen table. Anyway, we also hired this out so our physical effort wasn't all that great. We did have to move all of our furniture into the basement or second floor the two days before we left for the wedding. Just a nice way to relax before the big day. However, the results are completely worth it. Check out the pics.








Ok, this is getting long and the Cubs are now down 7 to 2 in Game 1 of the NLDS so my patience is pretty much gone. As a result, this blog posting is pretty much done. As stated, we got married this past weekend. Sept. 27, 2008. I would appreciate any efforts any readers would make to remind me as this date approaches in the coming years. We don't have pictures but I promise to write more about it later. But basically, Kelly made me the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.


The church where we got married.


Judy and David's (Kelly's mother and boyfriend) house in Corinth.

Our babies hanging out on the front porch.

So we wanted a new toilet

And we got a new bathroom, well kind of. Now looking at the picture above, many of you may be saying, why do you want a new bathroom, the one you have is gorgeous. Well, the pink toilet cover and towel were just starting to make me feel a bit feminine. That and the bar of Zest was out so we figured why not. Ok, those came down a long time ago but this picture provides a nice contrast to what you will see below. A couple of weeks ago we decided that our upstairs toilet's inability to flush consistently was no longer acceptable. I mean, the American way says that each successive generation will have a higher standard of living that the one before it and my parents are old, but they had toilets that flushed. That and can you imagine the day it decides to not flush and we have a guest over, that is just embarrassing. So, despite its admirable efforts a few weekends ago while we had some family in town, the old toilet got the hook.

And now the fun begins. As those of you who regularly, well at least as often as I update this, read the 330 N. Humphrey improvement blog know this grand house was built in the early 1920s and has had only 3 owners (including us). The previous owners held on to this beaut for 56 years and as far as I can tell last did some updating of the place about 55 years ago. I digress. So as we ripped off the old toilet, you can see from the nasty picture it didn't come off easily, we brought some of the 2 layers of linoleum flooring with it. Well that gave Kelly all the excuse she needed to rip up the rest of the flooring. So as we are about to finish up she looks at me and says, "if we are going to rip up the floor we have to get it all and that means taking out the vanity to get what is under it." Now at the time, this seemed like a logical step to me. Hindsight being 20/20, this was quite possibly the worst idea we have had yet. Because, wait for it.....

As we had all but the back of the vanity removed from the bathroom, the drain pipe fell from the wall. It didn't get yanked or unscrewed, it FELL out. In fact I wasn't even in the room and Kelly was cleaning part of the floor. Knowing I would be o so happy about this, Kelly almost didn't let me back in the bathroom. Putting my best forensic scientist skills forward I concluded that the only thing that had been holding it on was the nasty build up in the pipes. I took pictures but for the children, have decided against posting them. Instead, I offer you a picture of the tile we found made up our floor.

O' Happy Day, this now meant we needed a plumber to fix this and he, I would include an "or she" here but I know the plumber who came over and he was a he, would need the wall down to get to the pipe he would need to in order to fix this. At this point, anyone working for or who has relatives working for the Village of Oak Park must stop reading. If you choose to continue you are agreeing not to turn us in for unpermited work. Well, there is nothing Kelly and I have more experience at than pulling down plaster walls. So we took the walls down, well mostly we were lucky enough to be able to stop about half way up due to an unexpected piece of wood allowing for a nice clean break in the plaster. Ok, not clean but close enough. If you don't remember what bare walls look like please refer to earlier postings of this blog, may I suggest the October 5 and 14 postings. They offer a wide variety of images and show the excellent 1924 vintage 2x4 studs that also made up the bathroom walls.

We put up some drywall and to avoid the dust that typically accompanies this put wainscoting over it. Now, this did get rid of the dust problem but it also provided its own set of issues. Like trying to cut the holes for the pipes and electrical boxes without proper tools. Like a saw. But hey we have a combine 30 plus years of schooling between us, so after much deliberation, few four letter words and more than a few Keeler snit fits, we were able to figure it out.

Unwilling to endure any more of my spazz/fits of rage, Kelly laid the law down and insisted we actually buy some of the tools necessary for the job. She says necessary, I say an affront to my manhood. Well most of my manhood was already down the hole in the floor in Kelly's eyes so I agreed to the purchases. Funny, but after we bought a mitre saw and brad nailer the project moved remarkably fast. Now all we have left is some caulking and painting and we will be all set. Have a look at where we are right now.

Holiday Road

What would summer be without the a good old American Road Trip? Nothing. So with that in mind I roused the children and loaded up the family truckster.



We pointed the car due south and decided to see what we could see. We faced some challenges: we were racing the rising waters of the mighty Mississippi south and all of my references to Vacation were falling on deaf ears as my dear wife to be has never seen the movie.

Agast, at this obvious oversight and really wondering if she could ever really understand me if she had never seen the movie I planned to base our child rearing on, I began to try and find a way to ask her to screen this masterpiece prior to us tying the knot. As we passed through southern Illinois my mind was racing. We decided that, in order to avoid the rising waters of the Mississippi as we passed out of Illinois we should divert from U.S. Interstate 57 and take U.S. Interstate 24 toward Paducha, KY (You will understand the need for detail later). As previously stated, I was off in my own world and not paying too much attention to what was going on (yes, I was driving). And then as if she were meant for me, it happened. She said, Keeler the next exit is for Metropolis, IL and they have a 30 ft. statue of Superman. OMG, OMG, OMG. With the eagerness of a boy whose father just gave him a nickle to buy a coke down at the soda shop (you like the nostalgia??) I drove to the next exit and followed the signs for the giant Superman statue. The road was winding and actually much further off the exit than one would think but we made it. Typical to any good small Midwestern town, the town hall sat in the middle of a large square with all (read 4) roads arriving at the hall at one of the four corners. As you enter the square, his head can just be scene over the top of the two story town hall. As you make the first corner he casts a glorious shadow over the courtyard in the front of the building. As you make the second corner, there he is. Your welcome for the details.




Metropolis, IL promises a giant Superman statue and Metropolis, IL delivers. We took our time taking it all in, OK just me, but Kelly had fun laughing at me. We browsed the museum, took some souvenir photographs, and Gatsby tried to pee on the town's volunteer of the year award monument.

By the way, I later learned that Metropolis, IL has a newspaper, and it is none other than....

The Daily Plant. Isn't that freakin awesome, and even better the grandmother of a guy I work with used to work for the paper. No her name is not Lois.

Kelly didn't see the clinched fists, otherwise she would have looked much tougher.

I think I look pretty freakin tough.

We blew out of town and grabbed a Sonic on the way. For those readers who are not Southern, Sonic is a fast food joint but they have these drinks called Cherry lime-aids. Anyway, Southerns and those of us who associate with them, love them. The North, who knows why, does not have Sonics and thus when one is found, it is stopped at.



We continued our trip for its intended purpose of going to Corinth to plan our wedding and managed to pull that off fairly successfully. We are still short a place to actually get married but everything else is cool. The place will hopefully be one of two great little chapels in Corinth. They are currently racing to see which on will finish its construction on its sanctuary so it can host our wedding. OK, that isn't true. We are waiting, but we have some calls in and have mobilized the local women groups who meet in the sanctuary to start yelling at the church board that decided to shut the place down. Anyone who knows anything knows that angry old women can get some crap done. Especially when they are complaining to old men who are just too damn tired to listen to it.



That is my rant for the time being. Have a good one. And remember to keep fighting for "Truth, Justice and the American Way"

You can do it, Put your back in to it

Some may be wondering about the odd choice of blog titles. Fear not good friends. The poetic lyrics of Ice Cube not only make incredible booty shaking music, but they also describe Kelly and my last few weeks. We will start this journey with our trip to Destin, FL (booty shaking).

Known for its white sand beaches, clear water, and multiple Robert Trent Jones Jr. golf courses, Destin, FL aka. the Redneck Riviera, is also the sight of the annual Policy Punisher's reunion. For those of you who don't know who the Punisher's are, we will save that story for another time. Back to the matter at hand. Kelly and I, along with about 14 of our friends from Washington DC descended on Destin for the Memorial Day weekend. Fun was had by all and a huge thanks to the Goudeau's for allowing us to stay in their condos and cooking some of the best dang Gumbo and Healthy Pancakes (they are fried and they are spectacular) a person could ask for. We spent a few days on the beach, I played a couple rounds of golf (Fred Couples got a bit cocky on the GPS but we were able to over look it), Kelly shopped, and everyone enjoyed Memorial Day at crab island, punctuated by 4 fly byes by 4 F-15s in formation.





Dinner on Sunday night was spent at AJ's. It took a bit of time to get seated so we enjoyed some cocktails on the upstairs deck. After suffering through one of the worst winters I have ever seen, it was great to sit outdoors and enjoy some drinks.
















On Memorial Day the crew rented a few pontoon boats and despite our best efforts managed to find our way to the infamous crab island for a day of fun and sun. Our fearless leader decided it would be nice to take a trip around the bay before settling into our spots at crab island. Our pontoon took on a good bit of water but Captain Connors piloted us to safety. It would not be long after 1 pm when the good times began to roll.


First a bit about crab island. It is a rather large area in the bay that ranges from 3-6 ft deep. Basically, everyone anchors their boat, breaks out the beer, footballs, grills, etc and parties like its 1999. Those of you who know me, know I can't party like its 1999 anymore but I supported the efforts very well. Above was one of my greater contributions to the weekend. The floating beer bucket, seen here being enjoyed by Mr. Page. And again, below by Mr. Karr. In this picture we have tied the bucket to Mr. Karr because the group was going on a walk around crab island.

A good time was had by all. We dominated the whitest boat contest. The one guy who actually looks a little tan lives in Milwaukee, what the crap is that. Fellas, we really need to get out of the offices a bit more.

So that was Memorial Day weekend, we followed that up with a weekend of backbreaking work in the front yard (see above Ice Cube reference, get it, I thought so I just wanted to make sure). As the previous post showed, we decided evergreen bushes weren't our thing a long time ago and decided to make some changes. Well, we finally figured out how we wanted to get started. Here I am putting my back in to it.

So on Saturday morning, very early since our dogs have decided it is not really necessary to sleep past 6 am on the weekends. As I write this, I am listening to both of them snore. Jerks. But it did get us to Home Depot before most people had even had their morning coffee. Kelly picked out all the plants and they look great. I provided the back for digging. In economics I believe they call that comparative advantage. Not great for me, but hey we all do what we can. We worked most of Saturday and some of Sunday to get it mostly done. We have yet to put the edging in but we are having fun doing it. Just having the sun on our face and seeing how well the house is coming together provides us both with a great sense of fulfillment.

After getting the plants in the ground we added the weed protector and then the mulch. The grass is also coming along very nicely.

And as we wrap up for the night because I am really freakin tired a full frontal shot of the house. For the nonobservant ones, the awning that was over our bedroom window is now gone. It takes about 20 years of the house and it wasn't even that hard to get down. I am just thankful we have a superb scrapping crew here in Chicago/Oak Park. You put some metal out by your trash and someone will come haul it away.